Friday, 19 July 2013

Saying it out loud - I'm addicted to sugar!

The time has come... I am finally admitting to the world that I am hopelessly, mindlessly, uncontrollably addicted to the white stuff.

After reading Sarah Wilson's amazing book, "I Quit Sugar", I have decided it's time to make some serious changes. I've made half-arsed attempts before, but nothing I have ever really been able to stick with. My will-power muscle has withered away to an almost non-existent heap of jelly, but I think this program will breath some life and strength back into it. I have just finished Week One of Sarah's approach to quitting sugar, and I feel pretty damn good. This blog will become a record of my progress over the 8 weeks, on what will hopeful be a road to success! I'm hoping that others who are attempting to eliminate sugar from their diet will find some comfort in knowing you are not alone. And you should  definitely check out Sarah's book and her website.

I'll explain why things needed to change for me...  

I'll be honest, it took me a while to be able to admit it out loud. I told myself that it was OK to hide blocks of chocolate all around the house and demolish them daily when no one was looking; to find constant excuses to leave the room so I could stuff myself with something sweet away from judging eyes; to race to the supermarket when in the midst of an intense craving and binge on Allen's lollies and raspberry licorice until I wanted to throw up. This was all normal, right? Perhaps if these things happened occasionally, if they were an anomaly in one's day to day routine, they wouldn't be considered something to stress about. But this had become my daily existence. My whole world had become about my next 'fix'. I would be literally dreaming about gorging on sugary sweets, and I would start making decisions based on how quickly I could get to that next vending machine. Not to mention the disgusting flabby fat that was accumulating thick and fast around my stomach and face.

This shit was starting to scare me.

Sugar was actually controlling me. When I was in the middle of a craving, (which came so thick and fast it would have me jumping in my car and driving to the supermarket without even realising what I was doing), I would lose all self control. My mind was filled with only one thought: get me that sugar NOW. And I was completely powerless. The walk from the checkout to the car was agony... knowing that I had the sweet stuff in my hands and it would soon be on my tongue... I would often jog to the car and rip open the block of chocolate in desperation. I would sit there in the car park eating piece after piece, and then packets of lollies and cookies and cakes, feeding the monster inside of me. I was a sugar junkie.

Then came the guilt and the shame, the part of my day I dreaded and hated the most. Often I would cry as I continued to stuff my face with just one more piece, telling myself that I was fat and weak and worthless, but I just couldn't stop. This addiction had tangled itself around me and was strangling the health, and the life, out of me. I didn't start like this of course. It's only been the last 6-12 months that these damaging habits have become my routine. But I have always binged on sugar and then punished myself afterwards, often with a lot of self-hate and shame.

So when I stumbled across Sarah's book, and read it cover-to-cover in just one night, I knew the time for change was now. And the program seems so do-able - it's not filled with obscure ingredients and bull shit promises - it's an honest and clean approach to health, and I love it. If you are attempting to do the same, you can follow me on my journey and hopefully find some strength.

1 comment:

  1. I feel you! Dreaming about the next sweet thing I can eat, oh yes....