You know what I haven’t really reflected on much during this rather epic journey? How amazing I feel. Seriously, I feel AMAZING. Inside and out. I have boundless energy, my moods have stopped swinging like a pendulum, I’ve grown in confidence and self-belief, and my sugar cravings have GONE. Well and truly. Not to mention my skin clearing up and my belly bloat vanished. Now I know this sounds a little house on the prairie, but I am on a bit of a high. My appetite settled down this week and I continued with the delicious sugar-free recipes and treats from Sarah Wilson’s Program, feeling free again. It’s taken me 6 weeks to get to this point, but my God it was worth it.
Now this week hasn’t been perfect. I succumbed to the evil corn chip once again (actually twice again) and had a late night fat binge (yoghurt and cheese). But the big difference – I didn’t beat myself up like I used to. I accepted that I faltered, had a few weak moments, and moved on. I took heed to Sarah Wilson’s advice when this happens – I got moving. I went to the gym, took my dog for a walk, or made a cup of tea. It allowed me to free myself from the guilt.
Here is a fairly typical dinner for me... Zucchetti (looks and feels like you're eating pasta but just peeled Zucchnini!) with steamed veggies, tofu and a sprinkle of goats cheese (big sprinkle last night!). This food makes me feel good.
We’ve hosted a few BBQ’s this week and again, I’ve been able to see how the choices I’m making don’t need to be temporary. This is a lifestyle change, and a very achievable one. As I’ve said before, people don’t notice what you’re eating and drinking when there’s food on the table and I am so happy to quietly go about my sugar-free business without getting in anyone’s face. So while the boys spurted huge mountains of BBQ and tomato sauce over their big fat steaks, I took an extra serve of salad greens to have with mine. While they scoffed down the store-bought mayonnaise–laden potato salad, I gobbled up some delicious grilled Haloumi (so good one the BBQ!). So, I’m continuing my mindful eating by making choices that are going to make me feel great. And it’s seriously getting easier every day.
I was at a work function mid week (a riveting 6 hours of investigating the Catholic Church in Australia) where the school put on morning tea for all staff. Now this time around I knew what to expect, so came prepared with some home made snacks (although you’d think I’d brought a home made bomb based on the reactions from my peers). I walked into the room and watched everyone shovelling in jellybeans, cakes, chocolate truffles and Cadbury favourites. In the corner, hidden behind a vase, was a very small ‘healthy’ platter of a few carrot sticks, a big knob of cheese and some French onion dip. And of course, it hadn’t been touched. It was really interesting just sitting back and watching my colleagues. I could see people wanting to stop at one chocolate truffle, but their eyes would be darting back and forth from the plate and they would inevitably, and then regrettably, dive in for another. There it was – the sugar taking control. In this situation it was difficult to go unnoticed – I was literally the ONLY person who wasn’t eating any sugar. Initially I was bombarded with, “You’re being so good!” and “I wish I had your willpower!” Then came, “Come on, just one won’t hurt”. “You must feed the soul too, you know”. “I would never deprive myself of the joys of food”. And bang – I was the one in the wrong. At one stage I felt like I was being attacked, and had to justify my choices to all of those around me. They felt like I was judging them for eating the sugar (which I would never do), when all I wanted to do was make my own choice and quietly continue about my day. But, life isn’t meant to be that easy.
The old me would have probably filled my pockets with chocolates once I’d stuffed my face with one of everything, and then found an excuse to sit in my car to gorge. But now, it was so easy to say no. I happily munched away on my broccoli without even a pang of a craving – and it still blows my mind, every single day.
Commando is still continuing to kill me in our sessions, but I am noticing that I am getting stronger. My body shape still isn’t budging, which I must admit is pretty frustrating. I still have my ‘apple’ waistline and tuck shop lady arms, but I know that this sort of thing takes time. And I can be patient. Commando still continues to be a jerk, but I continue to take his (very bad) advice with a grain of salt. No, I will not count every calorie I ingest and stick to 900 a day (apparently the only way I could possibly lose weight as my Basal Metabolic Rate is so low). No, I will not cut down on fats like avocado and nut butters – because apparently ‘if you eat fat, you get fat’. And no, I will not eat red meat 4 times a week, because I don’t like it. I love his training sessions, I just wish he would stop trying to talk to me about nutrition. So I put in my imaginary ear-phones and nod and say ‘yes, ah-huh, hmm’, as I’ve learnt that you can’t win an argument with the Commando. Trust me I’ve tried, and he just won’t budge.
Well, Week 6 was a positive one. Let’s hope this flows through for the remainder of the journey.