You know what I haven’t really reflected on much during this
rather epic journey? How amazing I feel. Seriously, I feel AMAZING. Inside and
out. I have boundless energy, my moods have stopped swinging like a pendulum,
I’ve grown in confidence and self-belief, and my sugar cravings have GONE. Well
and truly. Not to mention my skin clearing up and my belly bloat vanished. Now
I know this sounds a little house on the
prairie, but I am on a bit of a high. My appetite settled down this week and
I continued with the delicious sugar-free recipes and treats from Sarah
Wilson’s Program, feeling free again. It’s taken me 6 weeks to get to this
point, but my God it was worth it.
Now this week hasn’t been perfect. I succumbed to the evil
corn chip once again (actually twice again) and had a late night fat binge (yoghurt
and cheese). But the big difference – I didn’t beat myself up like I used to. I
accepted that I faltered, had a few weak moments, and moved on. I took heed to
Sarah Wilson’s advice when this happens – I got moving. I went to the gym, took
my dog for a walk, or made a cup of tea. It allowed me to free myself from the
guilt.
We’ve hosted a few BBQ’s this week and again, I’ve been able
to see how the choices I’m making don’t need to be temporary. This is a
lifestyle change, and a very achievable one. As I’ve said before, people don’t
notice what you’re eating and drinking when there’s food on the table and I am
so happy to quietly go about my sugar-free business without getting in anyone’s
face. So while the boys spurted huge mountains of BBQ and tomato sauce over
their big fat steaks, I took an extra serve of salad greens to have with mine.
While they scoffed down the store-bought mayonnaise–laden potato salad, I
gobbled up some delicious grilled Haloumi (so good one the BBQ!). So, I’m
continuing my mindful eating by making choices that are going to make me feel
great. And it’s seriously getting easier every day.
I was at a work function mid week (a riveting 6 hours of
investigating the Catholic Church in Australia) where the school put on morning
tea for all staff. Now this time around I knew what to expect, so came prepared
with some home made snacks (although you’d think I’d brought a home made bomb
based on the reactions from my peers). I walked into the room and watched
everyone shovelling in jellybeans, cakes, chocolate truffles and Cadbury
favourites. In the corner, hidden behind a vase, was a very small ‘healthy’
platter of a few carrot sticks, a big knob of cheese and some French onion dip.
And of course, it hadn’t been touched. It was really interesting just sitting
back and watching my colleagues. I could see people wanting to stop at one
chocolate truffle, but their eyes would be darting back and forth from the
plate and they would inevitably, and then regrettably, dive in for another. There it was – the sugar
taking control. In this situation it was difficult to go unnoticed – I was
literally the ONLY person who wasn’t eating any sugar. Initially I was
bombarded with, “You’re being so good!” and “I wish I had your willpower!” Then
came, “Come on, just one won’t hurt”. “You must feed the soul too, you know”.
“I would never deprive myself of the joys of food”. And bang – I was the one in
the wrong. At one stage I felt like I was being attacked, and had to justify my
choices to all of those around me. They felt like I was judging them for eating
the sugar (which I would never do), when all I wanted to do was make my own
choice and quietly continue about my day. But, life isn’t meant to be that
easy.
The old me would have probably filled my pockets with
chocolates once I’d stuffed my face with one of everything, and then found an
excuse to sit in my car to gorge. But now, it was so easy to say no. I happily
munched away on my broccoli without even a pang of a craving – and it still
blows my mind, every single day.
Commando is still continuing to kill me in our sessions, but
I am noticing that I am getting stronger. My body shape still isn’t budging,
which I must admit is pretty frustrating. I still have my ‘apple’ waistline and
tuck shop lady arms, but I know that this sort of thing takes time. And I can
be patient. Commando still continues to be a jerk, but I continue to take his (very
bad) advice with a grain of salt. No, I will not count every calorie I ingest
and stick to 900 a day (apparently the only way I could possibly lose weight as
my Basal Metabolic Rate is so low). No, I will not cut down on fats like
avocado and nut butters – because apparently ‘if you eat fat, you get fat’. And
no, I will not eat red meat 4 times a week, because I don’t like it. I love his
training sessions, I just wish he would stop trying to talk to me about
nutrition. So I put in my imaginary ear-phones and nod and say ‘yes, ah-huh,
hmm’, as I’ve learnt that you can’t win an argument with the Commando. Trust me
I’ve tried, and he just won’t budge.
Well, Week 6 was a positive one. Let’s hope this flows through
for the remainder of the journey.